Fear

I AM AFRAID.

Just like everyone else, I have fears. Many, actually.

Crushing both legs in a car accident. Getting mauled by mountain lions or bears.

That they will stop making Cheetos Spicy Limon. And if I extend it to my 9-5 life,

the idea that the radical changes I am fighting for might not work.

And one lesson I have learned in the last couple years is that when I am afraid,

I need to expose myself to situations that are uncomfortable and awkward so that I am able to learn to:

A. realize and acknowledge that I am petrified to begin with,

B. understand that most fears stem from the unknown, and

C. that the way to calm them down is to submerge oneself in situations full of the unknown

so that when you come out of it, you realize that you can tackle that monster after all.

I am not suggesting base jumping from El Capitan or doing stunts on a slackline

suspended between two mountaintops (unless of course, you have the adequate training to do so).

I'm thinking something not that reckless, but perhaps, a little more challenging emotionally or psychologically.

Such as being vulnerable. Such as talking to strangers. Such as blogging.

Such as hiking alone.

I hardly ever go anywhere solo anymore and with The Dutch being overseas this weekend,

I felt it was the perfect time to go on a solo weekend with just myself and my fears.

With me on the wheel, driving four hours each way to San Francisco, I had to contend

with many things head on - the weather (snow over Donner Pass on the way out,

hail on the way back), ridiculous traffic in the Bay Area, my phone/GPS

dying on me on the trail (don't tell The Dutch), navigating San Francisco

to find my hotel sans GPS (nailed it), and constant thoughts of the

Bay Bridge collapsing on me on my crawl out of the city.

Oh yes. And hiking on a trail I've never even been on.

Solo.

(With a handheld GPS device with Dutch

language settings and a dead phone).

All potential horror stories aside, the views throughout the hike was breathtaking. If you go to

San Francisco, I could not recommend a hike up at Mt. Tamalpais (Mt. Tam, for short) in Marin County enough.

It is one of the most scenic and remarkable hikes I have ever done, and in a way,

there is a solemnity to it when done alone. Everything was on color overdrive -

the grasses, the wildflowers, the shrubs, the sky, the Pacific Ocean.

The bird calls collide with the sound of the crashing waves below and the occasional ship horn.

There are trails all around for all levels. I did the Coastal View Loop from Muir Beach which

although was only ~3 miles, had 1,300 feet of elevation gain.

And now that I got that out of the way, (and if you're still reading, you earned it)

the good stuff...

Anything worthwhile doing and creating a ruckus for causes anxiety and tension.

Taking risks, inspiring change. But are these are the same things that result in great things.

Flying a solar plane. Launching a commercial trip to outer space.

And in the end, the hope that stories do wrap with a happy ending should overshadow the fear.

Including this one.

#welcome #adventure #california #hiking #peptalk